Inspiration
When I was young, I gazed out at an infinite horizon filled
with unlimited possibilities; goals were a dime a dozen and inspiration as easy
to maintain as an erection.
Older now, I’ve noticed the horizon has shrunk considerably.
(Probably because I’m living in a crowded city and look out on another
apartment block and not the Pacific Ocean I looked out onto as a boy.)
Things slowed down a bit along the way; it became more
difficult to find a purpose worthy of my time and talent. It seemed the world
was no longer hungry for that which I had to offer. After all, who, in their
right mind, was looking for a middle-aged show boy in the advanced stages of
male balding pattern?
At forty, I found solace in writing, photographing,
painting, and innumerable other enterprises that inspired my soul but didn’t
pay the rent. I continued to dance: insignificant parts as far away from my
adolescent dreams of becoming the next Nureyev as Quinten Crisp to Hulk Hogen.
Inspiration dwindled.
Yet, I still needed to pay the rent.
Then came the big yoga boom. A career tailor-cut for a
dancer and philosopher. I was on fire. Inspiration had me feeling invincible
again. Alas, I quickly discovered present-day yoga did not share my dream of
finding peace of mind through the medium of the body. People were more
concerned with developing their abs than their minds. Women attend in search of
new anti-aging program, men to check out carnal sights in yoga tights. 5,000
years of spiritual history reduced to a sex app on a sticky mat.
Sigh.
Okay. I admit: it’s not that bad. There are those few yogis
who have taken their heads out of their asses and aspire to higher goals. These
are the rare few who have kept me inspired enough to continue all these years.
But the sad truth had dawned: inspiration, along with my
libido was getting more and more difficult to sustain.
Inspiration. The force that keeps us from entering the
lusterless world of the aging. With its help, we retain the vivid colors that
colors the world of youth.
Inspiration is more nourishing to the soul than Reese’s
Peanut Butter Cups and just as satisfying. And, like Peanut Butter Cups, as you
get older, just about as difficult to find, (especially if you’re living in
Germany).
Inspiration is life-sustaining. As necessary as the right
food, fresh air, or a good TV series.
Without it, life is as bland as a black and white film,
filled with anxiety, and hopelessness.
SO, how to get and retain it? It’s what this blog is about.
My journey into the zone of the aged with the hope of coming back with a few
hints designed to keep a twinkle in your eye, spring in your step, and an itch
between your legs.